Courageous Conversations Essay
Have you ever gone into an extremely sensitive topic with a person whose opinion you don’t know, whose past you can’t experience, and whose shoes you can’t step in? Our team was able to do this with complete strangers, discussing the topic of racial discrimination. We were also able to have many other experiences in the classroom involving race. Engaging in courageous conversations about race is something that takes sensitivity, maturity, knowledge on race, and the ability to break out into different topics of conversation, knowing that you are entering a realm of delicate subjects.
Surprisingly, people can grow up in a prejudiced environment and still make individual decisions about right or wrong. I was able to learn this from engaging in a courageous conversation with someone who grew up in a completely different era. Upon entering the room where we interviewed residents at Brookdale place, a couple of my peers and I noticed one woman who didn’t have any students to interview her yet. She was looking around the room until we came up to her to find a place to sit. Her name was Sherry and she was very friendly; I would never have guessed that she had the opinion that she had on race, knowing the kinds of experiences she must have had growing up.
Sometimes, just asking a few basic questions about a person can lead to so much more information unraveling than you expected. We started off with the basic questions on the interview guide such as ‘What race do you consider yourself as?’ and ‘What ideas did your parents grow up with regarding race?’. The further into the questions we got, the longer her responses were, and the more emotion was released through her words. She had had the same opinion on race for her entire life and stayed confident in her beliefs. She first started talking about her encounters with other races by talking about a woman she grew up with since birth, that she called her ‘mammy’, or a black nursemaid in charge of white children.
“She was a wonderful, wonderful, caring person.”, said Sherry. “How could you not grow up with an open mind?”
We asked her if she would have grown up with the same beliefs as her parents if it weren’t for her mammy to change her perspective, and she replied with,
“No, I would never be, because I’m not like that.”
She called herself a ‘fighter’ because she didn’t like prejudice and “was fighting for people to have equality”. She also mentioned that she was the black sheep in her family because her parents had completely different views. In my opinion, Sherry had astounding amounts of resilience in order to defy the norm in her era, that blacks should be isolated from whites, disciplined, and restricted.
I find it amazing how completely different the norm was in the past few generations, especially Sherry’s. The universal perception on race has changed so much from Sherry’s time to now that it leads me to wonder what actions took place in order to change the norm, and therefore improve racial equality. During the time when Sherry grew up, her community was completely white, including her school, and there were certain restrictions among black people, such as having to step off the sidewalk when a white person came by. This is why interviewing college students at Cal State San Marcos was a completely different experience, in the sense that they were born during a time after some major racial issues were resolved. The group that my peer and I interviewed was a group of latina females who at first, seemed reluctant to talk about race, but then discussed their experiences and opinions comfortably. Their stories about racial discrimination generally weren’t as severe cases as the stories Brookdale residents had to tell, but were still valid cases of racism like micro-aggressions and even some cases of racial slurs.
Another eye-opening experience in the process of this project was when our team took the IAT (Implicit Association Test). The IAT is a series of tests that measures the strength of your associations between concepts such as race, gender, height, and other factors. The entire team took the test based on preference towards race, and the results were surprising to some, because the test showed certain preferences that people were unaware they had in the first place. Personally, my test results told me that I had no particular preference towards either black people or white people, and I was honestly surprised knowing how different the results of other people in my class were. Something else our team was able to do in class was creating ‘inequality gap lessons’ in groups. Throughout these presentations, we taught about a topic having to do with an unfair gap that certain races experience. Our group talked about how incarceration rates vary largely depending on race. Learning about my own group’s topic and hearing other groups present showed me something I wasn’t fully aware of before; that invisible privilege is still a large factor of racial discrimination and is something not obvious to most. In-classroom experiences are the farthest I’ve ever gone down the path of discussing race, but I feel like everyone should be aware of the things I’ve just recently learned.
Throughout the courageous conversations, the IAT results, the inequality gap lessons, and overall discussion of the topic, I was able to take away some things from the experiences that I wasn’t fully aware of before. I came to the conclusion that discrimination will always be a factor represented in the world, and that the issue of racial discrimination can only be improved, not fully resolved. I also realized, from the IAT test, that most people have a slight to large racial preference, even if they aren’t aware of it, and aren’t discriminatory. Finally, I found that being culturally proficient means that you acknowledge one’s differences and celebrate them rather than dismissing them as the same as everyone else. Culturally proficient people fully accept other races and are open towards their differences rather than being afraid to notice them.
I have grown throughout this process in many ways, but mostly because I have become much more aware of the issue and thought through things like stereotypes, racial preference, statistics on incarceration of different races, and how things have changed regarding race in the past century. I have grown in my perspective towards race, and realized that stereotypes are there for a reason, but never something that should be set in concrete. I feel like I have grown because I know so much more about the issue of racism and how it can affect everyone involved, or even just a bystander.
One way to change the way we engage in and understand race is by being more comfortable talking about race in racially diverse groups. If we are so afraid of offending someone that we hold back on an important point, the conversation won’t be very productive. Then again, knowing how to have a courageous conversation in a mature and sensitive way is also crucial. Another way to change how we understand other races is to acknowledge the differences, and celebrate them, like a cultural proficient would do.
Engaging in courageous conversations is a very venturesome, important endeavour to do that takes sensitivity, maturity, knowledge on race, boldness, confidence, and understanding your topic so that you are able to express your opinion. It also takes courage to listen to different opinions, especially opinions that you disagree with, however it is important to remain respectful toward every opinion. I have learned from every racial story I’ve heard during interviews, I've become less ignorant on the topic of race in general, and I’ve been exposed to a range of opinions. If I have been changed in this way from being engaged in courageous conversations, imagine how a closed-minded person can become open-minded just from hearing stories, engaging in conversations, hearing different opinions, and getting a full view of all of the racial differences everyone has, and why it’s a reason to celebrate.
Parent Reflection-Jeffrey Farrell
I find it encouraging and hopeful that we can have conversations about race, and that we are being encouraged to do so. I am grateful that my children don’t harbor racial hatred. I was very happy to learn that Lyra did not display a strong racial bias on her IAT test. I also learned that Lyra recognizes that discrimination still exists. I want to continue to celebrate my relationships with others, without regard to their race, through the human experiences that connect all of us, such as food, fellowship, and love.
Have you ever gone into an extremely sensitive topic with a person whose opinion you don’t know, whose past you can’t experience, and whose shoes you can’t step in? Our team was able to do this with complete strangers, discussing the topic of racial discrimination. We were also able to have many other experiences in the classroom involving race. Engaging in courageous conversations about race is something that takes sensitivity, maturity, knowledge on race, and the ability to break out into different topics of conversation, knowing that you are entering a realm of delicate subjects.
Surprisingly, people can grow up in a prejudiced environment and still make individual decisions about right or wrong. I was able to learn this from engaging in a courageous conversation with someone who grew up in a completely different era. Upon entering the room where we interviewed residents at Brookdale place, a couple of my peers and I noticed one woman who didn’t have any students to interview her yet. She was looking around the room until we came up to her to find a place to sit. Her name was Sherry and she was very friendly; I would never have guessed that she had the opinion that she had on race, knowing the kinds of experiences she must have had growing up.
Sometimes, just asking a few basic questions about a person can lead to so much more information unraveling than you expected. We started off with the basic questions on the interview guide such as ‘What race do you consider yourself as?’ and ‘What ideas did your parents grow up with regarding race?’. The further into the questions we got, the longer her responses were, and the more emotion was released through her words. She had had the same opinion on race for her entire life and stayed confident in her beliefs. She first started talking about her encounters with other races by talking about a woman she grew up with since birth, that she called her ‘mammy’, or a black nursemaid in charge of white children.
“She was a wonderful, wonderful, caring person.”, said Sherry. “How could you not grow up with an open mind?”
We asked her if she would have grown up with the same beliefs as her parents if it weren’t for her mammy to change her perspective, and she replied with,
“No, I would never be, because I’m not like that.”
She called herself a ‘fighter’ because she didn’t like prejudice and “was fighting for people to have equality”. She also mentioned that she was the black sheep in her family because her parents had completely different views. In my opinion, Sherry had astounding amounts of resilience in order to defy the norm in her era, that blacks should be isolated from whites, disciplined, and restricted.
I find it amazing how completely different the norm was in the past few generations, especially Sherry’s. The universal perception on race has changed so much from Sherry’s time to now that it leads me to wonder what actions took place in order to change the norm, and therefore improve racial equality. During the time when Sherry grew up, her community was completely white, including her school, and there were certain restrictions among black people, such as having to step off the sidewalk when a white person came by. This is why interviewing college students at Cal State San Marcos was a completely different experience, in the sense that they were born during a time after some major racial issues were resolved. The group that my peer and I interviewed was a group of latina females who at first, seemed reluctant to talk about race, but then discussed their experiences and opinions comfortably. Their stories about racial discrimination generally weren’t as severe cases as the stories Brookdale residents had to tell, but were still valid cases of racism like micro-aggressions and even some cases of racial slurs.
Another eye-opening experience in the process of this project was when our team took the IAT (Implicit Association Test). The IAT is a series of tests that measures the strength of your associations between concepts such as race, gender, height, and other factors. The entire team took the test based on preference towards race, and the results were surprising to some, because the test showed certain preferences that people were unaware they had in the first place. Personally, my test results told me that I had no particular preference towards either black people or white people, and I was honestly surprised knowing how different the results of other people in my class were. Something else our team was able to do in class was creating ‘inequality gap lessons’ in groups. Throughout these presentations, we taught about a topic having to do with an unfair gap that certain races experience. Our group talked about how incarceration rates vary largely depending on race. Learning about my own group’s topic and hearing other groups present showed me something I wasn’t fully aware of before; that invisible privilege is still a large factor of racial discrimination and is something not obvious to most. In-classroom experiences are the farthest I’ve ever gone down the path of discussing race, but I feel like everyone should be aware of the things I’ve just recently learned.
Throughout the courageous conversations, the IAT results, the inequality gap lessons, and overall discussion of the topic, I was able to take away some things from the experiences that I wasn’t fully aware of before. I came to the conclusion that discrimination will always be a factor represented in the world, and that the issue of racial discrimination can only be improved, not fully resolved. I also realized, from the IAT test, that most people have a slight to large racial preference, even if they aren’t aware of it, and aren’t discriminatory. Finally, I found that being culturally proficient means that you acknowledge one’s differences and celebrate them rather than dismissing them as the same as everyone else. Culturally proficient people fully accept other races and are open towards their differences rather than being afraid to notice them.
I have grown throughout this process in many ways, but mostly because I have become much more aware of the issue and thought through things like stereotypes, racial preference, statistics on incarceration of different races, and how things have changed regarding race in the past century. I have grown in my perspective towards race, and realized that stereotypes are there for a reason, but never something that should be set in concrete. I feel like I have grown because I know so much more about the issue of racism and how it can affect everyone involved, or even just a bystander.
One way to change the way we engage in and understand race is by being more comfortable talking about race in racially diverse groups. If we are so afraid of offending someone that we hold back on an important point, the conversation won’t be very productive. Then again, knowing how to have a courageous conversation in a mature and sensitive way is also crucial. Another way to change how we understand other races is to acknowledge the differences, and celebrate them, like a cultural proficient would do.
Engaging in courageous conversations is a very venturesome, important endeavour to do that takes sensitivity, maturity, knowledge on race, boldness, confidence, and understanding your topic so that you are able to express your opinion. It also takes courage to listen to different opinions, especially opinions that you disagree with, however it is important to remain respectful toward every opinion. I have learned from every racial story I’ve heard during interviews, I've become less ignorant on the topic of race in general, and I’ve been exposed to a range of opinions. If I have been changed in this way from being engaged in courageous conversations, imagine how a closed-minded person can become open-minded just from hearing stories, engaging in conversations, hearing different opinions, and getting a full view of all of the racial differences everyone has, and why it’s a reason to celebrate.
Parent Reflection-Jeffrey Farrell
I find it encouraging and hopeful that we can have conversations about race, and that we are being encouraged to do so. I am grateful that my children don’t harbor racial hatred. I was very happy to learn that Lyra did not display a strong racial bias on her IAT test. I also learned that Lyra recognizes that discrimination still exists. I want to continue to celebrate my relationships with others, without regard to their race, through the human experiences that connect all of us, such as food, fellowship, and love.